I work in a company that deals with wealthy individuals. Our clients became wealthy through various ways. Many of our clients founded successful companies, while others worked for these companies and after years of hard work were able to cash in their stock options. These people took a risk, worked hard and are now enjoying the fruits of their labors.
There are also those that become wealthy through a windfall. When I lived in Miami, not one but two members of the Orthodox Jewish community won the lottery. According to most opinions, if you win a prize like the lottery (even a small amount) you say “Shehechiyanu” (He who has granted us life, sustained us and enabled us to reach this occasion). If you are sharing the prize with others, such as other family members, you say “Hatov v’hameitiv” (He who is good, and bestows good). Perfectly reasonable, as you are saying thank you for your good fortune. However, there is another very different kind of windfall where you say the same brachot: An inheritance.
We recently observed my mother’s 2nd Yahrtzeit. My mother was an extraordinary individual, the kind of person who lit up a room when she entered. She adored her grandchildren, and they adored her. So when she passed away, a major void was created in our family.
My mother was always generous when it came to her grandchildren, but she was also a child of the depression, and rarely spent extravagantly. So despite having never owned her own home and earning a middle-class income as a teacher, she managed to save a respectable amount of money. She was what we call today an over-saver, the exact opposite of the more commonly known over-spender. She could have afforded to spend more on herself, but she chose not to. It was and is that way with many from her generation who grew up during the depression.
When she passed away, I was her sole heir, as I am an only child. I was (and still am) grieving for her, and yet I was told that the proper thing to say upon receiving the inheritance was “Shehechiyanu”. What? I am supposed to say a prayer of thanks for an event that was triggered by my mother’s death? Sure, I gained something of a material value, but it was only at the far greater emotional loss. How could this be?
I tried to rationalize it in whatever way I could. I finally determined that it was ok to say “Shehechiyanu”, because my mother had been saving all her life so that she could give this money to us. It was what she had wished for. However, knowing my mother as I did, it came with a key unwritten condition: Responsibility.
